Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What Really Grinds My Gears - 4

You know what really grinds my gears - the new lobster Subway sandwich.

What makes Subway think they can charge $17 for a sandwich? Who in marketing came up with this clever idea? It's like they are trying to compete with the Mr. Sub crab & seafood sandwich but are failing miserably.

Did they have a meeting with all the executives, accountants, and the top notch marketers of Subway and discuss all the ways in which they could up sell the crab sub from Mr. Sub? Are they not making enough money off of their $5 sandwiches, that they actually thought it was in their best interest to price this new one so ridiculously high?

What jackass came up with this plan? Was it the guy sitting in the back row who never contributes? Did the President of Subway call upon said Jackass and ask what he thought the company should do to enhance sales?

"Ummm maybe we should sell a sandwich for $17 - that would make us some money." To which the President responded "$17... that would make us money. Now what should we put on this $17 sandwich?"

That same clever Jackass with his smug expression "lobster - people pay good money for lobster."

I'd personally like to sit in on this next meeting for two reasons. One, to see the look on the President's face when the accountants pull out the charts showing the significant decrease in revenue. And two, to explain it to the Jackass as I smack that smug look off his face, just before he's fired.

(Compliments of Tim MacDonald - it really grinds his gears too)

What Really Grinds My Gears - 3

You know what really grinds my gears - the new Mars bar.

Has anyone else seen the advertisement for the new Mars Caramel? Doesn't the Mars Original have caramel? I mean really, what was that gooey brown stuff that tasted like and had the same sticky consistency as caramel? If the new Mars bar has caramel but the original didn't - then what the hell were we eating before?

Wouldn't the advertisement be better off describing the new Mars bar as "exactly like the original - but with the word caramel now listed on the wrapper" ??

See, now people aren't going to eat the original for fear of the unknown substance AND we sure as hell aren't going to try the NEW-oh-so-great Mars Caramel for the same reason.

What's next? The new Chocolate-Covered Mars bar?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


So apparently I have been getting grief for not updating my blog often enough.

Well I use my blog as somewhere to vent all of my thoughts and stories.
I guess lately I don't have anything good enough to say.

Did I tell you the one about the drunken landlord yet?
That's a good one! Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

So first, we had a horrible experience with buying a house and were left trying to find somewhere to rent. This has been discussed previously.
So I have this friend who told me she had just moved into a house and the lady that she rents from has other houses available. What a find! So my friend tells me that I can trust this lady because she's lived in one of her houses for a few months now and has had no issues. If there is a problem, the landlady and her husband (AKA the "landlord") will rush right on over to fix it. AND my friend works with the lady so there will never be a time when I cannot get in touch with her.

So sure enough, my husband and I start renting a house. We moved in on a Sunday and that was way too much work. I got stung by a bee and found out that I'm slightly allergic. It was enough to have my neck swell up and stiffen. I couldn't turn my head and I was in pain for a few days.
So needless-to-say I was not in the mood to be unpacking.
It's a good thing I took Monday off work, but I was still sick on Tuesday and had to take that off as well.
Now I'm getting ahead of myself. On the Monday we had a strange visit from the landlord.

First I noticed some random guy standing in our driveway and loudly talking to the neighbours on either side of us. He kept walking across our lawn and then he was sitting on our front porch talking on his cell. I also noticed garbage in our driveway - an empty mickey of vodka. So I opened the door to pick up the garbage and the guy on the phone didn't even move over so I could get by him on the stairs. You'd think he would realize that he didn't live there and leave but no.
So I picked up the garbage and brought it back in the house. I locked the door with the chain and asked my husband to investigate. Apparently the guy on the phone was brown-paper-bagging it and he called over his brother and cousin to join the driveway party. These guys are all friends of the landlord who apparently was the one who left the vodka in the driveway. He was drinking it straight - which explained why he couldn't walk or see straight.

He decided to come into our house but couldn't get passed the chained lock. As drunk as he was, he still managed to try the side door. Success - he got into our house and walked up the stairs. Apparently he was looking for the bathroom. My husband escorted him out and locked the side door. The landlord went to the backyard and peed there. He then came back through the side door.
I was sure that my husband locked it but let's for argument sake, say he didn't. The lock is inside the door handle so I was assuming maybe he just didn't turn it the right way or something.
So again the stupid landlord is escorted out and I triple check the lock. It's definitely locked but yet the landlord is still able to come in a third time.
I call my friend, she tells the landlady, and the landlady is over in less than 30 minutes picking up her drunken husband. All his driveway friends flee the scene.

The next day, I am in the backyard with the puppies. Remember, I have taken the day off work because I am sick, I am really not in any kind of mood. The drunken landlord shows up again.
It's friggen 10 in the morning and yet there he is, stumbling and slurring.
He says he came over to cut the grass. So I said I'd take the dogs inside. He says "you don't have to take them inside. I like you, I don't know why I like you but I like you. Do you like me?"

I said "if you're here to cut the grass I will take the dogs inside." He asked me again if I liked him so I just told him where to go. "No - you're drunk and you walk into my house. Stay here while I go get my husband."

I went into the house and he took off. Thank goodness.
The landlady came by on the third day of living in this crazy house to explain that her husband will not be doing that anymore.

That's good - him and his driveway buddies have not been back.
There are tons of problems with this place and my husband and I refuse to call the landlords. They either don't show up, or they come drunk and do nothing.

They are useless!