It Gets Worse

So in my life time I've had plenty of "it gets worse" stories. All very entertaining, and it's become one of my party specialties. If I start a story with "it gets worse" my best friend usually calls everyone over and says "oh, you have got to hear this one."

It's been a while, but here's how my day started today.

I woke up this morning a little later than normal and was in a rush to get ready. I straightened my hair yesterday so that wasn't an issue. However, looking into the mirror I noticed my hair was just not as great as the night before... Dang bedhead. Well I only have time for a quick brush, but of course that doesn't fix anything, it just leaves me with a good two inches of frizz. Whatever, I'm not superficial, I'm surprised I actually looked in the mirror this morning.

I leave for the office, trying to figure out how to work my brand-spanking-new Ipod. My husband was up at all hours of the morning making sure that it was fully charged and fully loaded with good tunes. I made sure to read the instructions so there was no question of what to do. Well the menu and play buttons only work sometimes, the next and previous buttons work properly, nothing else works at all. I am able to get one song to play, can't adjust the volume so endure it at full blast. The song ends, and starts again. I look at the Ipod to see it's on permanent repeat, but because none of the buttons work, I'm unable to fix that. I check to see if maybe I have it on hold. I push the hold button and apparently that's now the "off" button. Grrr. I turn it back on only to get a message that says "bey-bey" before going off again. I can only assume that means Bye-bye but I wasn't aware that Ipods communicated in such a way. Ripped off. I was sold a cheap knock off on Ebay. Just great. If it worked properly, I probably wouldn't even know the difference. I'm tech-challenged after all.

Now I get to the bus terminal only to see that there are no longer bus stops. The terminal moved from the south end of the mall to the north end without any notification. By the time I get there I will have missed my bus. Lucky for me I spot a bus stop across the street. I hope that if I stand there long enough, my bus will come. It does.

I am on the bus reading my new book. This book was sent to me by the author herself, signed and everything. I drop it in a puddle. I don't drop books, but this one decided to fall right on out of my hands.

I get to the subway station. Wait for a good 15 minutes before an announcement states that there is some train down and we have to wait for it to get fixed before they can send out more trains. By the time the train comes, the station is packed and we all get to herd ourselves into the train and fight for a seat. I get one. By the time I get to the next station I figure out why this seat was left just for me. Apparently I sat in something. So now I'm cold and wet and have a mystery spot on my pants.

By the time I get to work I have almost forgotten about the pants before I get a big whiff of beer. Since I'm all alone and have yet to have a drink, where could that smell be coming from? I check my pants... Doesn't look like beer but I dread to think what it is. It's left a big white spot on my clean black pants. Grrr.

Wait a minute, why am I all alone in the office? I was a good 20 minutes late due to the train extravaganza. Everyone in my department has either called in sick or decided to work from home. Priceless.

Today, of all days, is my birthday. Some birthday.

So I call my husband almost in tears to explain about my day and he says to me "well at least they didn't decorate your desk with balloons." He knows I'm petrified of balloons so I suppose this should be a positive thing... But that's when I notice that they didn't decorate at all. I didn't even get a card signed by everyone. They forgot completely!

Well at least I have a cake to look forward to, right? My husband reminds me that's my job. So I have to make my own birthday cake? He says "no, you can buy one if you want." I actually find this funny. I've only been awake for two hours and all of these things have happened to me.

I really need a coffee. My girlfriend sends me an email, "happy birthday, I can't take you for coffee, I am working from home today." BAH

The director of Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke has officially signed off the project. She won't be making the next movies. I actually feel like this is my fault. What else can go wrong today?

Come to think about it, my bad luck started yesterday. I didn't recognize it though because I wasn't the direct target. First, we set up our Christmas tree only to find we have no lights, they're all burnt out or broken. We go to the store to buy more lights forgetting that our two puppies and one kitten have yet to see a Christmas and don't understand the concept. We got home to find the tree was still standing. That's good. But we're still in the driveway looking in the front window when I see a small grey furry thing towards the top of the tree. I said to my husband "is that Ender?" and before he can look our tree falls to the floor. That was entertaining. No one was hurt and the tree was bare so nothing was broken. Danny says "well at least the puppies didn't pee on it."
He then decides to take out the kitchen garbage. As he's tying up the bag, my littlest pup Cinnamon, decides to cock up his leg and pee all over it. I know he didn't have to go, but for whatever reason he wanted to mark his territory all over the garbage bag. I thought that was pretty funny too but only because it wasn't me. Danny was furious.

The day is getting better, my friend sent me an email with attachments. Hot pictures of not one but TWO of my top 5 celebrity hotties. My best friend took me out for lunch and my boss passed me that signed card. I wasn't forgotten.