Don't Speak

My advice to you... Keep your mouth shut.

When somebody asks you how your day is, say "good" - don't say "great" as that will necessitate further comments. Do NOT under any circumstances, tell them how you really feel. Likely they don't care anyways, but once you start venting about something that's on your chest, you are immediately thought of as a negative person. And if the wrong person finds out you're negative, you get a one on one with HR or recruited by a happy cult member.

I had both happen in one day - it's not good. The cult - easy - just throw some scientific mumbo jumbo at them. I'm a scientist, this could go on a long time, and I'll always win.

The meeting with the boss was not a big deal, he was misinformed by some evil bitch micromanager at work. Evil Bitch Micromanager is the manager of another department - doesn't concern me at all. She overhears me speaking to my colleague about an email that we received. My colleague asked my opinion and all I said was "I'm not going to respond to the email as I believe I'll get very foul." Somehow this got translated back to MY boss as "Jacki is a very negative person who is complaining about every little thing and should be talked to."
That ultimately gets back to me as "if you're not happy here, maybe you should leave." My boss is a super, nice guy and totally understanding so I just explained the truth of the matter, to which he denied the evil bitch micromanager's accusations. This is how he avoids confrontation, but we all know the truth.

Honestly... the only negativity I see is the eaves-dropping evil bitch micromanager making shit up.

See now I'm swearing, but really... my stats are good, I get along with every one on my team, I work overtime without compensation and without complaints and I'm the one who needs to rethink my career? Well I'll be. I tell you what, maybe when my stats fall and I start bringing the average down rather then up, maybe then you can tell me about my attitude and my career path choices.

To you "Evil Bitch Micromanager" my life, my job, my business... doesn't concern you. If you decide to step on my toes again, I will be escalating. I will be seeing your boss and speaking to her about your lousy management style. Here is a tip, if half of your team is on stress leave - IT'S YOUR FAULT! I'll be sure to bring this to the attention of your boss, and I will be discussing the negative impacts that YOU have on the company.

To everyone else: "I'm good, and you?"

Wise Words - Please Take the Advice

This one goes out to the foreign cleaning lady:

Watching me pee is not proper etiquette. You do not need to stare at me as I wash my hands. I will not make a mess. You can clean around me and then leave. There is no need to wait. No one appreciates the staring.
See one of my previous blogs about how the cleaning staff at work do not actually clean anything. They don't. They just stare at you as you wash your hands...


This one goes out to the Mr. Sub guy:

When I order a veggie sub, this means I like veggies. It also means that I am not interested in meat. Please don't hold back on the veggies, consider the lettuce as the "meat" of any other sub. You sprinkling on a few shreds of lettuce is not going to do anyone good. When I say "more please" I would think this is self-explanitory, apparently it is not. When I say "lots of cucumbers" please put more cucumbers on then you would for someone who just says "cucumbers." You actually put three slices of cucumber on my large, foot-long sub, and when I was still waiting for more and not asking for any other topping, you realized this to be some sort of cue. The cue to put ONE more slice of cucumber! I don't understand. By the time my sub was made to YOUR standards, I am basically left with one thin layer of veggies between two thick pieces of bread. I just thought you should know that you will not lose any money in piling the veggies on thick... In fact, MR. SUB as a company will not lose any money. Lettuce is cheap... and so are you.


This one goes out to the creepy mailroom guy:

It was a nice idea to send out candy-grams to all the ladies on the 12th floor. But ranking all the ladies is disgusting. I don't want 5 candy-grams from you even if it does mean that you like me the best. I'm sure that none of the other ladies were impressed with their candy-gram multiples either. In fact, we're all still wondering how the minimum wage mailroom guy with a wife and two kids could afford to buy that many. One may have been a nice idea but 5 is just excessive, and no, it doesn't mean that you're getting in my pants now.
It is not my fault that the mailroom is situated just before the women's washroom. If I happen to pass you on my way to the washroom I am in no ways obligated to stop and talk. Aside from the pile of work I just left at my desk, I am clearly in a rush to the bathroom and hardly have time for small talk.
This does not mean you get to give the puppy dog face and whine to me the next time you see me "oh I saw you walk by and you didn't even say hi, do you not like me anymore?" News Flash: I NEVER LIKED YOU. You are known to all as the creepy mailroom guy. The people who are nice enough to talk to you also find you creepy but they think it's pathetic that you have no friends so they figure there is no harm in being nice. I made that mistake once and now look at the position I'm in...
If my fiance wants to send me flowers at work, this does not mean you can personally deliver them to me while announcing to everyone who passes that "these are for your lady" ... ahem ... GROSS!!! When flower delieveries go to the reception office, or anyone else in the mailroom, a nice email is sent to the recipient saying "you have a package, please come pick it up." Why the hell do you find it necessary to hand deliever?
You stop by my desk so often that my boss is concerned. If I'm on the phone, I obviously cannot talk to you so DO NOT stop and stare at me and wait until I get off the phone. Not only is it creepy, it's also rude and disrespectful. I had to tell a client I would call them back, because after ten minutes of you staring at me, you still did NOT take the hint. How on earth do you stare at someone for ten minutes talking to someone on the phone and not think to yourself, maybe I should leave and come back later?

Here is another example of a Thursday conversation that should NOT have happened.
Creepy mailroom guy (CMG) comes by my desk and says:

CMG: Hey there, (awkward pause) you looked stressed.
Me: I'm not stressed I'm just super busy.
CMG: They give you too much work to do?
Me: Yes we are backlogged, everyone is busy.
CMG: Just remember, it's almost Friday.
Me: (not thinking) Actually, it is my Friday today.
CMG: oh well, I just came to say hi.
Me: hi.
CMG: Sooooo...
Me: (still looking at my computer, I just decide to ignore him)...
CMG: how are the wedding plans going?
Me: good.
CMG: I still have to talk to my friend about coming to your Jack & Jill.
Me: ...
CMG: I think he will come, I just want to confirm and then I'll get the money for you.
Me: ok.
CMG: It's a good thing you asked me to print those tickets for you, otherwise I never would have known about this pre-wedding party/fundraiser thing.
Me: ...
CMG: Soooo...
Me: ...
CMG: Did you get the candy-grams I sent you?
Me: yes, isn't 5 a little excessive?
CMG: I was bored, and you work hard. It's a little something to help you get through your day.
Me: thank you, my friends will enjoy them too.
CMG: Ok well, I guess I'll let you get back to work... and I'll go back to my lonely desk in the mailroom.
Me: bye.

There was more to that conversation but I must have blocked it out of my memory. I do remember that he was at my desk for over five minutes. This was actually a short conversation as it usually takes him longer before he takes the hint. Really though, if he just wanted to say hi it shouldn't have taken him more than 10 seconds. I didn't really even have time to look away from my computer as I was so busy. He's like a child, walking away all mopey that I didn't make time for him.
I don't have any obligations to him. If I need something mass printed or mailed out I have to go to him. This doesn't mean he's my new best friend.

You asked me why "Sarah" doesn't come by the mailroom anymore. I nicely explained that they have moved her desk to the opposite side of the floor and she doesn't need to walk by you anymore. I was a little shocked to hear you say "Oh I know, she now sits at 1231A." How do you know this? How do you remember everyone's seat number? I don't even know MY desk number! I actually made the mistake of asking how he knew this information and THIS was his response.

CMG: Oh, I know when everyone moves seats as the requests come through the mailroom. I also know where everyone lives and how much money they make as I have to print off the payroll and mail it out. I know when someone gets fired, or they quit, and I know the difference between the two. I know everything about this place.

EFFIN CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This needs to stop. You make everyone uncomfortable and you really could be fired for doing/saying the things you do. Telling me that I look hot when I wear my hair down, followed by the "paw" motion and the sound a cat makes... totally made me vomit. Putting some random girl's phone number in your cell phone that you happened to find on a payroll stub is actually breaking so many confidentiality laws is remarkable you haven't been arrested yet. Especially when your WIFE finds this number and then calls the woman to yell at her for giving her husband their phone number. What the duece?! You have a jealous wife at home and you are here asking everyone out on dates and sending them love notes and what not... STOP IT!

All the women were trying to find out what it is about you that makes you so creepy. Aside from all the things mentioned above, you are also one coke-bottle pair of glasses away from being a pedophile...

But that is just my opinion.

Where have all the nice people gone?

I have come across so many not-so-nice borderline evil people in the last three weeks alone that I'm just not sure there are any nice people left in the GTA. Here are just some of the things that have happened:

1. I saw an elderly woman with a cane accidentally hit a huge box out of another woman's hands. It was clearly an accident however, the elderly woman did NOT apologize, did not help pickup the parcel and did not even seem to care that she had done it.

2. A line up in a grocery store led to another register being opened. The cashier says "can I help the next person in line please." Another elderly woman at the back of the queue barges forward. It was my fiance that said "excuse me, but we were here first and you were not NEXT in line." After some arguing my fiance proves his point and the next woman in line (who was before my fiance) was served.

3. Yet another elderly woman, this one looked more like a troll in leopard skin clothing, comes barging down the wrong way with her shopping cart hitting everyone in her path. My fiance is hit and shakes his head "what is it with the elderly? Once they've hit a certain age they forget their manners."

4. The pizza delivery guy. Now he's not elderly, but he certainly is old enough to know his manners, I could care less what country he's from, these are standard P's and Q's. He comes to our door with 3 minutes to spare before our food is free. He hands my fiance the pizza and the bill. My fiance says "we ordered pop as well, it's on the receipt but I don't see it here." Now I have already taken the pizza into the kitchen so the pizza delivery guy does not believe that we haven't received our pop. He accuses my fiance of lying when I say "actually we only have pizza here, no pop." Pizza guy then says "oh it must be in my car" and turns around to go get it. In the mean time I sign the bill including tip. I start to rip the receipt in half, one copy for him, one copy for myself. However, the rip is not going quite right and it's tearing into his copy. He knocks on the door and without an apology he hands me my drinks.... As it turns out my fiance wasn't lying but hey now, no need to acknowledge that. So I hand him the bill that I've signed explaining that I am unable to rip it in half and if he could... Before I finish my sentence he says very rudely "where is my pen?" So I pass him his pen and continue with my sentence about how I would like my half of the receipt. Again I don't get to finish my sentence because he's turned around and walked away. Completely gone. "I'm still talking here... that's OK, I didn't want my receipt anyways, but next time, should we order from you again I will not be tipping you anything... and I might even keep your damn pen."

5. The TTC subway ticket ripper. It's Christmas Eve, and unfortunately I'm on my way to work. I just got off the streetcar which I was riding for about 40 minutes. I decide to get off at the subway station and take the train only one stop as it's freezing cold outside and I'm already not feeling well. By taking the subway I can stay indoors all the way to work. So I go to show my transfer to the subway ticket guy and I notice it's not the right transfer. This transfer is from the day before. I apologize and keep looking through all of my pockets and purse. I'm pulling out all sorts of transfers but not the one I need. It must have fallen out of my pocket on the streetcar. It's obvious I ride the TTC all the time and am a paying customer. I just cannot find the transfer from today. I say to the guy "it must have fallen out of my pocket, but I've just gotten off the 501 and am only going one stop on the subway, do you think you can let me go?" He says "only if you pay a fare." I said "I paid my fare to the TTC streetcar driver, I've lost my transfer, but as you can see from all of these other transfers, I am not one to scam the TTC." He starts to get belligerent with me and says "Look either show me the transfer from this morning or pay another fare!" I'm fully shocked, I would like to reiterate my point here so when I stop coughing I say "you expect me to pay again even though I'm only going one stop?" He just taps the glass... Now I'm super pissed, who does that? On Christmas eve of all days! I couldn't control my temper "F@$K YOU!!!" I say, as I walk outside in the cold, to that next stop. It's not very far, but on principle I'm pissed, I'm cold, and now I'm crying too.

This is just one of MANY evil TTC staff stories, I seriously think "being an asshole" is a requirement for employment.

6. The Home Depot Cashier. This is by far the worst story and I'm just not sure I'll be able to do it justice. My fiance, at this point I should tell you his name, Danny and I are doing some Christmas shopping. We know what we have to get, we've been given specific instructions. We printed the details from The Home Depot website. We need a tool box and a tool organizer. We find them with ease and proceed to the checkout. For some strange reason there is only one person working the cash but hey, Danny and I are very patient and understanding. There is only one woman in front of us who is paying in what appears to be pennies. The Home Depot cashier, who will now be known only as Evil Bitch, says to us "how are you paying?" even though the woman in front of us is still counting her pennies. We say "credit card." Evil Bitch says "good, because I don't have any change and I'm closing as soon as the next cashier comes" while looking at her watch. The woman in front of us who was obviously forced to pay with all her pennies, finally leaves and we are next. Evil Bitch tries to scan the tool organizer but finds there is no bar code or price tag. She looks at us like this is our fault and proceeds to help the next person in line explaining the "exact cash or plastic only" rule. She also calls the department for a bar code of some kind. Danny explains that we have a print out from their website that gives an in-store SKU number. Evil Bitch continues to push us aside and help the next person in line, rushing everyone out the door. She says to us "that won't help, I need a SKU" and dials the number for the department again. Danny tries again to say that we have the SKU but she just ignores us and moves to the third customer behind us now. Danny waits for the right moment and says "according to the flyer here we have the SKU." Evil Bitch yells (and I'm not exaggerating) "LOOK I JUST NEED TO CONFIRM WITH THE DEPARTMENT SO RELAX!" Danny says "OK I was just trying to help, the least you could do is be polite."
Well you can only imagine what Evil Bitch has to say about this. She goes off on one of her rants saying that we are the ones being pushy as she's tried to explain to us several times about how it works here at the Home Depot.
Danny says "you know what, it's just not worth it. You can have this, we'll go elsewhere." This whole time I've been good and quiet, Danny can handle his own. We walk out of the store. Let me say this again... We are no longer in the store. Evil Bitch is still yelling! Can you believe that? We've already left, we no longer care to purchase anything and she is still going off on one of her rants saying something about how she was just trying to help us. This is when I say "No you weren't trying to help, you were trying to finish your shift." Believe me, I held back, I did want to tell her just where to go. But Danny and I just continued walking away, laughing at the current situation.

Now to top things off, Danny and I have decided we really do need those items, it's too close to Christmas and we have to get these things. So we went back making sure that Evil Bitch was not there. There was a new cashier and our items were still sitting on the counter. There was absolutely no line up. We tell the new lady that we'd like to purchase the two items behind the counter and she gladly gets them for us. She starts to ring them in when low and behold, there is still no bar code. Danny takes out his paper and says "I printed these off your website, I believe it has a SKU." New Lady looks at the paper and says "yes you are right." She punches the SKU in and hey now, surprise surprise, it works! Too bad Evil Bitch didn't giver-a-go...

Again I ask, where have all the nice people gone? If you're out there, please give me a ring... I'm starting to lose my faith.

Too long!

I haven't written a blog in what seems like ages!

I've just been so busy. Work is overkill, they assign me so much more work per day and I'm not even sure why, so no time for blogging anymore... Maybe that's why? Maybe they are on to my time management skills where I allot so much time to Blogging and things.

So here is the update...

I had the last week of November off and had planned on catching up on all school work and making my wedding invitations. Sadly, I came down with and awful cold and spent the majority of the week locked in the bedroom with a box of tissue.
I did get ahead on schoolwork because I was able to read, but I only did half of the wedding invites so that's a drag. I still have a couple of months to get those all finished though, so no pressure yet...

I also had a birthday recently, which most people know :) That was awesome, I went out with work buddies and then on my actual birthday, my fiancé took me out to dinner where he surprised me with my parents and a couple of friends ... very nice


Now we're almost all ready for Christmas, just a few last minute things to get and we're good to go! Now we can sit down with a bowl of popcorn, a glass of eggnog, and watch those silly but classic holiday movies!

Orenthal Munchausen?

My entire life I’ve always been obsessed with learning. I loved going to school and getting good grades, even through high school. I did have some difficulties in university but I almost never missed a class and I attempted to take good notes and study all the time. Even though I’m a university graduate, I still find myself doing everything I can to learn a little bit more.

I’ve enrolled in a photography course so that I can learn the history of photography, the basics of all types of cameras and developing methods, and perhaps in the process I’ll also learn how to take a good picture… This remains to be seen.

When I am not studying for my photography class, I am reading anything interesting or entertaining. Currently I’m reading an encyclopedia on women killers, a book about stupid celebrities, and a text book on forensic science. What I’ve learned so far, is that O.J. (as in O.J. Simpson) stands for Orenthal James, who knew? Celebrities are pretty ignorant, but who didn’t know that already? And what I’ve learned from the killer encyclopedia book is that there is a disorder called Munchausen syndrome, that can let you get away with just about anything.

There are different kinds of Munchausen syndrome, so here is where I go into detail. The first “is a psychiatric disorder in which those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy to themselves.” It is a factitious disorder. This means that a patient diagnosed with Munchausen will simulate illnesses just to get attention. They go as far as self-induced vomiting, inflicting pain, or taking random pills to see what symptoms they cause. A lot of the times a person with this disorder are “highly knowledgeable about the practice of medicine” and go to extremes to get medical attention.

This is different from the well known hypochondriac because someone with this disorder actually BELIEVES they are suffering from whatever illness. Munchausen Syndrome patients are aware that they are faking it and exaggerate everything.

Well if you’re not into masochism, there is also something called Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. This is when the diagnosed person will cause pain and illness (and sometimes death) to another person. This generally happens when the Munchausen person is a caregiver or nurse. They have all the medical knowledge AND they are responsible for somebody’s life. It won’t take long for that life to end. Check out “Meadows’ Law” … I won’t go into details because I don’t want you to get the wrong ideas… But although not everyone agrees with this ‘law’, it’s helped enough murderesses get away with anything…

Here I am believing that in this day and age, and our technology, we can pretty much trace the origins of the common cold. If I sneeze even once, I’ll know who to blame! Unless of course you have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, then you were only faking that sneeze and I won’t be able to blame you at all. All the trials and cases I’m referring to in this article all took place in the ‘90s. Maybe we really haven’t advanced as far as I thought. Just look at ‘innocent’ Orenthal. I’d be interested in reading his never-published novel “I didn’t kill my wife, but if I did, this is how I would have done it”


Oh ya, that guy is innocent for sure. Innocent-by-Proxy…




(Quotes taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_syndrome and that is the best foot note you are getting from me)

More intelligent?

So I was thinking that my blogs are quite silly. They are just whatever I happen to be thinking about at that specific moment... Or maybe, they are representing me and my venting at outrageous situations... Believe me, there will be more posts like that in the future.

But I wanted to write something of substance... a little research article if you will. Tell me what you think.

In trying to do a little background check on some Greek mythological Gods and heroes, I’ve discovered some interesting “facts.” Zeus, the king of Olympian Gods, was the youngest of six children to his mother, Rhea and father, Cronus (of the Titan Gods). Cronus had children with other wives but my investigations only concern those of Rhea.

Going back even further, Cronus was the youngest son of Uranus (father) and Gaia (mother). This is where I find the story quite fascinating. Uranus (the primeval God of the sky) and Gaia (the Goddess of Earth) had 12 sons and 6 daughters. It is said that Uranus didn’t like the way they looked so he hid them in the bowels of Gaia. Now Gaia found this quite painful and when she could take no more, she asked her Titan sons to help. Sure enough, on the night of the next love-making session between Sky and Earth, four Titans pinned down the four corners of their father Uranus, and the youngest Titan Cronus ambushed from the centre of Gaia, cutting off his father’s manhood.

Cronus, being free of his mother’s belly, is now able to move on and marry Rhea. To avoid the same fortune of his father, Cronus eats all of his children as they are born. By the birth of the sixth child, Zeus, Rhea can no longer bare the pain. She saves Zeus by hiding him on an island and tricking Cronus into eating a stone dressed as Zeus.

Years later, Zeus takes revenge on his father, forces him to disgorge the other five of his offspring (now known as the Olympians) and a war breaks out between the Titans and the Olympians. Ten years later, the war ends and the Olympians win and the Titans are banished. Zeus is now the king of the Olympians and he divides the government of the world between him and his brothers Poseidon and Hades. Zeus rules the heavens and the upper regions, Poseidon governs the sea, and Hades is the God of the underworld (the land of the dead).

My original intentions were to discuss the similarities and differences between Cronus and Uranus; however I don’t believe this would be much of a challenge. Anyone can see that history repeats itself twice over. The only difference is Uranus disposes of his offspring by burying them inside his wife; Cronus ensures his own safety (so he thinks) by swallowing his offspring himself and not relying on the body of his wife for burial grounds. What I find more interesting than Uranus and Cronus is the relationship between Hades and his nephew Hermes.

Now you would think that Hades is an intriguing character because he is the Lord of the Underworld (also known as Hades, thus Hades is the name of a place and a God) after all, however it’s not the case. He’s very drab and gloomy and is described as scruffy with a dark beard and hair that falls in his face. He’s generally hated and feared by mortals, although he is not considered an evil God. Hades is depicted as a grim but passive, impartial figure. His main job is to uphold relative balance.

Hades was known to carry a staff and/or a two-pronged fork. These are the things he used to force the dead into his underworld territory. He also owned an invisibility helmet (much like Harry Potter’s cloak). Unfortunately there aren’t many stories of him actually using this power. That’s a shame. He probably just used it to recapture lost souls.

Once you get into the underworld there is no way out (only a few people have done it). The dead are pretty boring, they don’t talk aside from the occasional whisper, and they have no emotions. On occasion, Hades will allow one of the dead to drink from the pool of Lethe which erases their memory. This is preferred because there is absolutely no excitement down in Hades’ world and after the soul drinks from the lake they can travel back up to land with no recollection of the past. This is often perceived as reincarnation, and is the most enthralling thing that happens in the lower world.

Hades had complete authority over the dead and anything else (Gods or living creatures) that roamed in the underworld. He was married to Persephone, whom he also had control over but only for a portion of the year. Hades was known to get quite enraged when anyone tried to leave (or if someone tried to convince the souls to leave) his realm. Apparently he didn’t hold back any anger for those that tried to cheat or escape death. He had a few assistants to help him with underworld management, namely his nephew Hermes (the son of Zeus and a mountain nymph).

It seems Hermes was the God of many things, but was mostly known for travel and trade. He guided the dead souls to Hades and was branded as the messenger of Gods. Unlike Hades, Hermes is a happy, helpful character. Hermes protected travellers and punished those who refused to assist those that had lost their way. He’s helped other Gods in their battles and quests and has loaned out his own personal, magical items such as his flying shoes and the invisibility helmet that was given to him as a gift from Hades.


With all the Gods, the godly powers, and magical tools, you would think that this would be more interesting. It’s really not. And I’m very bored now. I might revisit this later. I might not.

Maybe now you'll prefer me venting over the mundane?

Cleaning people

I think I want a new job.
I want to be on the cleaning staff here at my company. They get paid to sit around all day and chit chat in the lunchroom.

There aren't very many chairs to begin with as people only go to the lunchroom when they have brought their lunch to work. Most people will get together with their friends at lunch and go out some where as there are many options downtown.

But I digress...

Every single time I go to the lunchroom these foreign cleaning people are all sitting around speaking whatever language. They are not eating any lunches, they are just taking up space. And it doesn't matter what time of day you go to the lunch room, there they are... just hanging out.

I wouldn't complain at all if the building was clean, but really it's disgusting.
They drop the rolls of toilet paper into the toilet, and then take the soaking wet roll and put it on the locked toilet paper holder.
We usually have two choices, either we can use the stall that has the wet roll, or the stall that has no rolls of paper... Either way, we're not getting dry unless we bring our own tissue.
Even if this wasn't completely disgusting and unsanitary, how does one dry themselves with something that is wet??? Useless I tell you, completely useless.

Now of course seeing as there is a lunchroom full of people, the rest of us are forced to eat lunch at our desks. This is also not very sanitary and if we want to have our desks cleaned we have to do that ourselves.

So I have my own disinfectant that I use to spray my desk before AND after I eat.
I clean up completely after myself everywhere I go. I pick up the trash if there is any, I wipe up the sinks when I'm done using them, etc...

So if I'm doing all of this, what EXACTLY are the cleaning people getting paid to do???

They make me sick. Tomorrow I'm going to stand beside them, lean over them, and slurp up my soup... I'll be sure to spill lots and see if anyone has anything to say about it.

"If you were doing your job properly, you would not be sitting here getting dirty while I eat... and I would have a place to sit"